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Nineteen. Taken. Dragons;cats;tea;phases of the moon. ♡

Ask.fm/reallittledragonchild

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apparently my mom is not even home

and the person i hear puttering around the house is the carpet cleaning service

I’VE BEEN YELLING ‘GRILL ME A CHEESE’ AT THEM FOR 20 MINUTES

doctorwhothefuckareyou:

kailivesinabox:

in french we don’t say “i love you”, we say “vous recevez une heure supplémentaire dans la piscine à balles” which roughly translates to “you are my sun, my stars, my everything” and i think that’s beautiful

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um 

casualcissexism:

shaymew:

smekers32:

jokes Americans won’t get

why wouldn’t americans get this post like we have buoys you know right???

didn’t u kno in america we call them MCDONALDS HAMBURGER OCEAN FLOATERS

forget-no-sleep:

Remember children, tumblr user beautyundismayed is sending hate for no reason, beware of this person and if possible block them

bongfucker:

bongfucker:

holy shit did you see that baby get owned in the face just now

but for real the cat jumped on the baby’s smiling idiot face, used it as a skateboard and did the sickest 180 you’ve ever seen. and the baby goes down still smiling like it didn’t just get owned as fuck

bongfucker:

bongfucker:

holy shit did you see that baby get owned in the face just now

but for real the cat jumped on the baby’s smiling idiot face, used it as a skateboard and did the sickest 180 you’ve ever seen. and the baby goes down still smiling like it didn’t just get owned as fuck

me: i don't even care. i'm not going to talk about this anymore.
...
me: and you know what else? [2000 word rant]
Vampire: Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not?
Werewolf: If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be?
Witch: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
Ghost: Do you have any regrets?
Frankenstein: Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person?
Mummy: If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you?
Zombie: Do you miss anyone right now?
Faerie: If you could get away with anything, what would you do?
Nymph: What are you like when you’re by yourself?
Mermaid: How far would you go to keep the one you love?
Shapeshifter: What would you change about yourself?
Banshee: If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them?
Siren: If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do?
Genie: If you had one wish that would come true and couldn’t be reversed, what would you ask for?
Fury: What is a word/phrase that you dread to hear?
Incubus: What would someone have to do to get in your pants?
Succubus: What’s one thing you can’t live without?

spicy-vagina-tacos:

filed under more jokes i never understood until now